Rubies
Welcome to my TED Talk about knowing worth and treating people with worth. One of my favorite scriptures in the bible is Proverbs 31:10 “Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies” (The Holy Bible, Prov. 31.10). I once asked my cousin why this verse was only spoken of in reference to women, because I believe that men are also valuable. My cousin said that she believes that it is because women would need to be reminded of this more than men would. While I believe that is true in Proverbs 31:11-12 we get this reminder for how we should be treating men “The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. 12 She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life”(The Holy Bible, Prov. 31.11-12). In fact, this whole chapter goes on to explain what it means to be a virtuous woman. In Proverbs 31, we learn two things:
1. How men should treat women.
2. How women should treat men.
I want to talk about these two things from my persective. At 27, dating can be hard. I think it is probably the same at other ages, but I am speaking from my perspective. I have always loved Proverbs 31:10, and I think part of the reason I have loved it so much is that I know the worth of rubies. What is the worth of a ruby? According to Emily Frontiere, 2024, “The IGS Gem Price Guide estimates that the average retail price for a ruby ranges from over $600 per carat to almost $16,000 per carat”(Frontiere, 2024, Par. 2). This is the average retail price in that same article we learn “the 55.22 ct. Estrela de FURA which sold in 2023 for more than $600,000 per carat” (Frontiere, 2024, Par. 1).
If you had something that valuable, how would you treat it? I know how I would treat it. It would be locked in a safe when I was not using it. I would make sure it had the best enviorment to thrive in, giving it the highest care to help it keep its strength and beauty. I would also want to show it to people, but I would not want to take it somewhere where it would be at risk; I would take it to places where its value is loved and respected. Now, if we are comparing this to a female, we need to understand that the scriptures say my worth, the worth of any virtuous woman, is “FAR above” (The Holy Bible, Prov. 31.10) that of the price of rubies.
I know that every female will have diffrent requirements for what they want from their partner, so always communicate them with them, this is what I believe, and have been taught, the baseline should be. We should be provided for, that does not mean that the female won’t help provide, but as we read in The Family: A Proclamation to the World, 1995, “fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families” (First Presidency & Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, 1995). As this teaches fathers to provide and protect their families, their wives! They are also supposed to show us love and be an example of righteousness.
I realize that this is talking about Husband and Wife, but before you are husband and wife, you are dating. As appropriate to your current levels of commitment to your partner, you should love, lead with righteousness, provide for, and protect. I am going to talk about what this looks like to me, and some of my close friends in a dating relationship.
Getting my door. Not just the doors into the building, but my car door. For me, this is a little act of service that can easily be done to show love.
Pay for dates. Show me that you can take care of me and provide for me. Paying for dates shows this. The fact that I even have to say this is ridiculous, but it is a problem.
Be willing to be part of gospel decisions and activities with me. I want someone who will pray with me, attend the temple and church with me, and study the scripture with me. A worthy priesthood holder. This shows me that you are willing to build a Christ-centered relationship, and that is the only kind of relationship I want.
Be on time. Unless there is an emergency, show up, be there on time, and show them that they are important.
Now I have talked enough about Men and how it means to treat a woman with her worth. Ladies, it is time to talk about what we need to do. How we should treat the men in our lives. Proverbs 31:11 says, “The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her” (The Holy Bible, Prov. 31.11). I love this verse. I think it is so beautiful. My favorite thing about it is that it shows how important nurturing is, not church for our children but for the men in our lives, we are meant to be a safe place for their hearts. Proverbs 31 goes on to talk about the many things it takes to be a virtuous woman. I’m going to share some, but I invite y’all to read it.
Works hard and strengthens those around her.
Takes care of those around her and of her home.
Strengthens those around her.
Serves others.
Is kind to those around her.
To close men, if you want a virtuous woman, treat us like a virtuous woman. Girls, if you want to be treated like a virtuous woman, act like one. We can all do better in one way or another. This time on earth is a place to learn and grow, it is up to us what we choose to do though. We have agency; it is a beautiful gift we have been given. I invite you all to use it to uplift others and work towards being a better version of yourself. Love you all!
Reference:
First Presidency & Quorum of the Twelve Apostles. (1995). The Family: A Proclamation to the World. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/scriptures/the-family-a-proclamation-to-the-world/the-family-a-proclamation-to-the-world?lang=eng
Frontiere, E. (2024, September 11). Are rubies expensive? International Gem Society. https://www.gemsociety.org/article/are-rubies-expensive/
Proverbs 31. (n.d.). The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Retrieved November 20, 2025, from https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/scriptures/ot/prov/31?lang=eng
