No One Sits Alone

I’m about to get vulnerable… which is not my favorite thing to do. I recently bought my own house, I closed days after I turned 27. I feared living by myself, I enjoy it now. It has been my biggest fear, because I have always been very extroverted and sought co-regulation. I prayed and felt right about buying a house, having told the Lord that I would need a roommate to help keep my mental health in check. While here I am, 5 months later, and I live by myself. I’m adjusting, and it is going okay. The thing is it is going okay, because I have amazing friends who have ministered to me. Who listened to my fears and have sought to support me, who have shown me love!

This is my cute townhome. I have been very blessed with the ability to have this home. I have also been learning a lot about human connection. As a Mental Health Professional, I always understood that it was important on a scientific level. Then I was put into a real-life experience where I learned why it was so important.

For those of you who don’t know, Ministering is a program in the LDS church to help build connections and foster community within your given area. I have had many times in my life where I have been blessed by the unity that comes from being a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Never have I felt as lonley as I did for the first 3 months I lived in my home.

During these three months of summer I traveled and had family things, but when I was in town, I went to my assigned ward. I went to my assigned ward and sat alone every Sunday. The people were all really nice, but when I would try and join, I felt like I was at a party that no one had invited me to, well the Lord invited me, but I felt separated from those near me. I would ask about activities, and everyone would say make your own fun, but no one seemed interested in opening new doors of friendship and honestly I’m not inviting strangers to my house when I’m a women living alone.

I sought connection in other ways though, seeking to make friendships is open areas so I would feel safe enough and not worry about hosting strangers. I even reached out to the church leaders. I never got anything back, now I don’t want to say anything bad about anyone, they are all kind people, but NEVER have I felt so ALONE! In this moment, I learned two powerful things that I want to focus on. 1. We are never alone if we open the door for Christ, and 2. Our Heavenly Father did not create us to be alone, and He has no intention of us being alone!

I know at times we all feel alone, whether we are sitting in our house or apartment by ourselves or in a room full of people, we can feel alone. I know I did, I also know that every time I felt this way, I could turn to my Heavenly Father and Savior in prayer. I cried to them a lot, and guess what, THEY NEVER LEFT ME! They listened, they comforted, and they strengthened me. I wish I knew the words to describe this or had a thought of how to explain this better, but all I know is that as long as I can pray, out loud or in my mind, I will always have my Savior standing by my side.

This second one is where ministering comes in. In the October 2025 General Conference, Elder Gong and Elder Jackson both gave talks about this, but I am going to focus on Elder Jackson’s. These talks really hit home and showed me more why I needed to experiences those moments of loneliness. Elder Jackson gave numbers as evidence of the importance of ministering and I’m going to share some numbers that where once shared with me.

My mom once told me that there was a statistic that most people who fall away from the church are singles over 25. As a 27-year-old single, I can see this, and I want to stop it. I want to be part of what helps bring people home, I want to be part of the saving of souls. How do I plan on doing this? Through ministering, to members and none members a like!

I remember driving home from my friend’s one night, crying to my Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ about how alone I felt at church. I promised them that I would never leave and that I would always remain active in the church and their Gospel. While this was happening, I received the distinct impression, “I do not want you to be alone. I did not create my children for them to be alone; it is time for you to go home”. Since that night, I have been in a ward that has brought connection and support back into my life.

Now that I am home, how can I help others? I’m going to start with two simple steps, 1. Smile and say hello to everyone. I believe that a smile shows people the Love of Christ and our Heavenly Father. Plus you never know, you smile mights save someone, physically and spiritually. 2. I’m going to be a better ministering sister, to those I’m called to minister and to others in my ward who I feel are in need.

I know I will not be perfect, but I am seeking! Love you all!

Barabbas

Barabbas, we don’t know much about this man. We know he was a zealot and that he had been convicted of murder. We also know that Christ took his place on the cross as part of the Atonement of Jesus Christ. Until today, I never thought much of this man or the meaning behind Christ taking his place on the outside of the fact that the Jews wanted Christ gone more than they wanted a murderer gone. Today I heard a song by Josiah Queen called “I am Barabbas” and it changed my whole persective.

The Atonement of Jesus Christ is the most important event to have ever happened on this Earth, outside of His birth, of course. Christ’s Atonement is what enables us to be forgiven of our sins and return to live with Him one day. It also enables us to find peace in darkness and hope when we feel like there is none. It heals our hearts and souls in a way that I’m not sure I will fully understand in this life. With that being said, I learned something new today.

I know that Christ will take my cross and carry it for me if I give it to Him. One thing I never thought of was how Christ was taking on Barabbas’s sins when He hung on the cross for us all. The thing that is cool is that Christ took Barabbas’s place on the cross and gave us a visual representation of how the Atonement of Jesus Christ is what saves us.

Barabbas was a sinner, like you and me. We may not have killed someone, but we have made mistakes, or at least I know I have made mistakes. Not only have I made mistakes, but I have been hurt, I have felt pain, hopelessness, anxiety, fear, and more. The thing is that from the moment Christ went to Gethsemane to His resurrected to He was saving me, He was saving you. Enabling me and you to heal from our mistakes and the pain we suffer. Christ chose to take up my cross because He loves me. He chose to take up your cross because He loves you.

I want to invite you all to put yourself in the place of Barabbas and ponder what you would have felt knowing that you were going to be crucified. How would you feel hearing that the Jesus of Natherith, our Savior and Redeemer, was taking your place, that you were saved? We are told all the time to personalize the scriptures, and doing this in the story of Barabbas has brought new meaning and insight to the Atonement of Jesus Christ and His love for me. His love for each of us. I am so grateful for this beautiful song by Josiah Queen that helped me to learn this.

The Man on The Bike

A few weeks ago, I did my second Olympic triathlon, also my last… or at least that is what I keep telling myself. I really enjoy sprint triathlons; give me a few years, and I will probably be ready to try another Olympic. Anyway, on the bike this year, a man about my parents’ age was biking with me and talking. This man could easily pass me; he is an Ironman, but he stayed with me and chatted for a bit. One thing he chatted about was his gratitude that he is able to do these. He remembered going to his Ironman and wondering if he was crazy because he was one of the oldest people there. He talked with some of the other older gentlemen about his imposter syndrome. One of them looked at him and said, “Just be grateful you can. Not many people our age are capable of doing this.” From that moment, this Ironman took on an attitude of gratitude, and he has been striving to have one ever since. Talking to this man was just what I needed.

At the end of the bike and the run, I started getting charley horses in my knees. If you have never experienced that, it is very painful! it is also possible to get rid of it with a little stretching. As this was happening, I felt myself getting frustrated with my body. Then I started thinking of how grateful I was that I was able to keep moving and do this at all. I also realized that I had not trained for this race at all, so of course, I was in pain! There for the pain was the consequence of my actions, but I was still able to have gratitude! Gratitude is a beautiful gift from God.

Miracles and blessing

My junior year of high school, I was playing in a volleyball tournament when I went to block and could not move. It was weird, but it only lasted a second, so I didn’t think much of it. A few moments later, I went up to block, and when I landed, I stumbled because my nerves did not recognize that my feet were under me. I was experiencing something known as Drop Foot. It was a symptom of something I had been diagnosed with not long before, called Chronic Exertional Compartment Syndrome. For those of you who don’t know what this is, my leg muscles didn’t release on their own. This causes lots of problems, from lack of circulation from my knees down to the development of Achilles tendinitis.

Now I had been in pain and anger throughout my injury, but I had never felt fear because of it. In that moment I did, I remember looking at my coach. She pulled me out of the game, and I found my parents in the crowd. My dad instantly came to me and started rubbing out my legs, as that was the only way to get the pain to stop and allow blood flow to get through my legs and down to my feet. Experiencing this was a sign that my injury was getting worse, making that my last season of volleyball and starting me on a long healing journey.

I will share my healing journey in a moment, but first, I want to talk about what I experienced for the next year and a half and how the Lord helped me through it. The reason that was my last season of volleyball was that my doctors had told me I was not allowed to run, jump, or walk excessively. I was allowed to swim; that was the only type of physical activity I was allowed for at least 6 months. I had friends and family who helped me grieve, but I had a teammate and coworkers who were mad about my limitations. I couldn’t always cover shifts at work due to having to go to physical therapy, and I had to quit basketball, which frustrated someone I had been playing with since I was young. These reactions did not help with the anger I was feeling, like my future was being ripped away.

I also felt anger toward God. I had been promised, in a blessing, that I would be physically capable of doing all I wanted. During that volleyball season, I had decided I wanted to try for college volleyball, only to have my sports ripped away from me. I was so angry, I felt like a promise had been broken. I don’t have depression, but during this time, I experienced a state of depression. I was so low, but due to having the amazing parents I do, they helped keep the Savior at the center of my life, and He did save me.

My healing journey was interesting. I went to physical therapy for 6 months with no results. I did learn how to have proper running form, though. From there, we switched to dry needling, which helped, but it was not a solution. This is where the Lord started to show me how He keeps His promises. Weber State’s physical therapist is who did dry needling for me. After a while, he talked with us about how it was just a band-aid and referred us to a podiatrist. This podiatrist was the best in the state at surgery that might fix my legs. At the time, it had like a 20-30% chance of success, with 50% of those people having complications.

Sitting in front of this doctor, he turned down thousands of dollars from my family by saying, “I am the best in the state at what I do, but if this were my 17-year-old daughter, I would not do his surgery.” From there, he referred us to a specialist in Casper, Wyoming, who had created a new procedure to hopefully heal me. This procedure had an 80% success rate. My family decided that we wanted to try this procedure, so my mom called to schedule an appointment, and we were going to have to schedule years out. At this point, it was halfway through my senior year. I was still angry, but had joined the swim team at school and learned how to, mostly, deal with the disappointment. I just figured it would be a few years before I got better. Despite that, my family prayed that someone would cancel and an opening would be made available for me.

It happened, a few months later, my mom got a call that someone had canceled. The appointment was for the day after graduation. I remember graduating, going out, and celebrating with my friends all night. The next day, I got up and we drove to Casper, Wyoming.

This is me getting my CT scan so the doctor could make sure that he was placing the injection into the muscles that were causing the problem. For a couple of months, I had a workout regimen to teach my legs how to work without the muscles that had been killed. I had phone check-ins every few months to make sure I was still healing. My final phone call was a week before I left for my mission. The Lord had a plan, and although I did not understand it at the time, I am so grateful for it.

I hate that I got injured, but I am grateful for what I have learned from it. The Lord does keep his promises. This year, I will have completed 8 triathlons and my first ever trail run. I also still play volleyball whenever I get the chance. When I first got injured, I didn’t know if I would ever be able to run or move again. I figured I would be able to casually play volleyball with my family, but that because of my injury, I would be limited in what I could do physically. I was wrong. The Lord had promised me that I would be able to do what I wanted and not be held back by my physical health. He kept His promise; it may not have happened on my timetable, but it happened, and I have been held.

Hi,

I haven’t written in a while. I want to be better at this, to write and leave my thoughts more often, but I find myself scared and pushing back against the idea of it at times. I am sharing my thoughts, and that’s terrifying. They are important, though. I feel like this is something the Lord has called me to do, and it is scary and hard, but I love to write. I might not be the best at it, but I love it, and I have been asked to share it.

I have a sweet friend who made me think of something today that I have not thought of in a while. There is an image I absolutely love, to your left. I love this image because of the message I feel it shares.

I don’t know how many times I my life I felt like this little girl. Standing there holding something I love with Christ in front of me, wanting to give me more if I just let Him.

I have made big life changes recently, and I’m grateful for them, but they can also be stressful. I am learning how to give Jesus Christ and my Heavenly Father my Teddy bear so they can give me something better. Trusting that it will be better can be really hard. Sometimes I want to hold on so tightly to what I know that I cause myself more panic than if I were to let go and let God. So, I want to invite everyone to put down the burdens we are carrying, let go of the fear, and work towards letting God.

Bummer

I recently learned of something known as a bummer lamb. This is a lamb that is rejected by its mother at birth, so the farmer takes it into his home and cares for it until it is ready to go back to the flock. This creates a bond between the shepard and the lamb that is stronger than the others, due to the lamb’s ability to recognize his voice. Now I want you to think about Christ and how we are all His sheep. In Matthew 18: 12-14 we read the parable of the lost sheep. This Parable talks about how when one sheep goes missing, the shepherd will go out and look for the one so that it can return home.

Here is the thing: we are all these sheep. Sometimes we get lost, when we are lost, there are times when we will turn towards his comforting and loving arms, and times when we will get lost. No matter which one we choose, the Lord is still there for us and with us. I know I have been both of these lambs. I much prefer to be the bummer lamb, but still, I have been both.

The difference between being a bummer lamb and a lost sheep is our choices, for the most part. Now, there are some people who are born lost. They are not born into a family that believes in or knows about Christ. I’m not talking about those people. I’m talking about those of us who are part of the Lord’s fold, who believe and or know the truth and go through hard times. In these hard times, we can choose to be the bummer lamb or the lost sheep.

I have had social anxiety for years, but there was a point in my life before I knew what it was that it got really bad. I’m someone who needs social interaction, it is one of the ways I feel my cup. The thing is, when the idea of socializing makes you want to panic, it is really easy not to socialize. Therefore, I stayed at home and became depressed. During this time, I would go spend time with family, and that helped, but something was still missing. I was lost. Once I started to turn toward the Lord more, I found my way home, but as a bummer lamb. I wasn’t ready to try to walk on my own, and so for a while he carried me. He took the time to nurture me back to health until I was ready to walk beside Him.

I learned a lot from that time in my life. One, I never want to be lost. I wasn’t lost for long, but feeling like I was missing something for even a few days was crushing. From that, I learned that it is always better to turn toward the Lor. He is my safety from the storm of my mind, and even when the voices are screaming that I am wrong, he is the one who brings peace to my soul and saves. On the other end, I have learned the benefits of being a bummer lamb.

I learned what it means to use the Atonement of Jesus Christ and give my weakness to the Lord. To turn to Him in my times of desperate and not-so-desperate need, knowing that He will lift.

Refreces

The Holy Bible: King James Version. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/scriptures/nt/matt/18?lang=eng. Accessed 11 May 2025.

Nevertheless…

Luke 22: 41-42 “41 And he was withdrawn from them about a stone’s cast, and kneeled down, and prayed, 42 Saying, Father, if thou be willing, remove this cup from me: nevertheless not my will⁠, but thine, be done.”

I don't know about y'all, but growing up I heard these scriptures in relation to Easter and the atonement, all the time. I love them. They teach us that Christ’s love for us and for our Heavenly Father surpasses anything else on this earth. They give us the beautiful example of what to strive for. As we celebrate Easter and the love and sacrifice of our Savior, I want to talk about another gift Christ’s atonement can give us and that is the gift of an eternal family.

Luke 22:43 “43 And there appeared an angel unto him from heaven, strengthening him.” Christ’s Atonement not only makes it so that we can be healed, but also allows us to repent and return home. It not only allows us to be strengthened and supported, but it also allows us access to an eternal family. Because of the Atonement, because Christ rose from the grave 3 days later, we are not separated from our family by death.

In Luke 22:43, we are taught about an angel who came to strengthen the Lord. I have angels living and dead who have come to strengthen me in times of hardship. The thing is, they will always be my family. Living or dead, because Christ suffered for our sins. Died on the cross and rose again 3 days later! Because of this, we have eternal families. There is one more lesson, though.

The other lesson I have learned is that Heavenly Father did not leave Him. The Antonment needed to be performed, we need someone who can stand by our side and balance the scales of justice and mercy. Christ did this for us, and just like we sometimes need strength in our weakest moments, Heavenly Father sent His Son strength in the form of an angel. I am so grateful for this and so grateful for the Atonement of Jesus Christ. This is something I could talk about forever, but I will leave you with this. Your Savior loves you, he knows our sufferings and our sins, yet he still loves us and asks us to come to him to be healed.

Reffrences

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Holy Bible: King James Version. Luke 22: 41–42. ChurchofJesusChrist.org, https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/scriptures/nt/luke/22. Accessed 20 Apr. 2025.

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Holy Bible: King James Version. Luke 22: 43. ChurchofJesusChrist.org, https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/scriptures/nt/luke/22. Accessed 20 Apr. 2025.

Knowledge is Power!

When I was a kid I remember thinking I could read the whole dictionary. I wanted to know all the words so that I could never be told “You don’t know what that word means.” I can confidently say I have never made it through the whole dictionary, but I still have that same drive to learn. It is just more focused and driven by different motivators. There are so many scriptures that talk about the importance of knowledge, there are also real-life examples from Joseph Smith to our living prophet Russel M Nelson. There are two things I want to focus on today that I believe help all anyone who is willing to use them.

1. The power of knowledge

2. The power of curiosity

The power of knowledge. In President Nelson’s 2015 conference address “A Plea to My Sisters” he talked about his failures and then later success as a heart surgeon mentioning the fact that he is the surgeon who pioneered open heart surgery. He shares the stories of some of the losses he had that made him want to give up and how his wife said “Are you finished crying? Then get dressed. Go back to the lab. Go to work! You need to learn more. If you quit now, others will have to painfully learn what you already know” (Nelson, par. 20.) Even with all of his knowledge the prophet suffered a great loss that made him want to quit. With the help of his first wife, he was able to press on, gain more knowledge, save many lives, and build great relationships with other countries such as China.

I have seen the power of knowledge in my life as well. Knowledge helps me not only in my career but also in the gospel. In fact my knowledge of the gospel is one of the biggest helps in my career. Because I know that my Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ love everyone I can see all my clients with value. I am blessed to get a small glimpse of how our Heavenly Father sees His children as He has asked me to care for them to care for their mental well-being.

The power of curiosity. Has anyone else ever had the thought that we would not have the truths that we have today if Joseph Smith had not been curious? He got curious, he searched the scriptures, and there found answers that lead him to praying in the sacred grove. Seeing hour Heavenly Father and Jesus Chirst which enabled him to bring about the Restoration of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Joseph Smith was able to provide us with the knowledge of the truth because he was curious. Be curious my friends! I have seen many blessing in my life from being curious. My curiosity is what drives my desire to learn

D&C 136:32 “Let him that is ignorant learn wisdom by humbling himself and calling upon the Lord his God, that his eyes may be opened that he may see, and his ears opened that he may hear;”

Source:

Nelson, Russell M. "A Plea to My Sisters." Ensign, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, Nov. 2015, https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/ensign/2015/11/sunday-morning-session/a-plea-to-my-sisters?lang=eng.

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Doctrine and Covenants 136:32. Intellectual Reserve, 1981. ChurchofJesusChrist.org.

I Love You Because…

There is this beautiful song that Hilary Weeks sings that says “He loves me even while even when. He loves me anyway in spite of…” saying that Christ loves us even as we make mistakes. I want to add to this thought though. Recently I have been thinking a lot about the Millennium and when all our loved ones are whole. When I won’t have Anxiety anymore, because it will have been my time to be healed. I think of my loved ones and what healing might be like for them, so excited to meet the healed version of them, because if I can love the imperfect version of them as much as I do, man the healed version? I can’t imagine how amazing they will be.

With these thoughts came the idea that the Lord loves me because of and with my faults. He loves all of us with all of our faults. Think about it? Think about the atonement and all the pain our Savior went through. The Bible says “He bleed from every pore” He knew we would screw up and yet He still came. He still came to this earth, to suffer, bleed, and die for me, for you, for all of us. He loved me, knowing I would make mistakes. I caused him some of that pain; that idea hurts me, but I know I did. Guess what? He still loves me, and He still loves you.

What does this mean for me though? How do I apply this love more fully to myself? If the Lord can love me with all my mistakes and imperfections, how can I learn to love others this way? When I think of how I can do this, the first step in my brain always comes back to draw closer to Christ.

On my mission we used to teach people about spiritual CPR, or church, pray, read. Just like CPR helps keep a person alive, spiritual CPR helps keep our spirits alive. I would add to this though. I believe a huge part of spiritual wellness is the temple, the house of the Lord. Temples have been a big part of General Conference and other church devotionals, I will one day spend a whole post talking about my LOVE of temples. For now, I just want to share one thought from President Russell M. Nelson’s most recent conference talk in October 2024, “Regular worship in the temple will help us. In the house of the Lord, we focus on Jesus Christ. We learn of Him. We make covenants to follow him. We come to know Him…” I have seen the difference regular temple attendance makes in my life and the lives of those around me. I know that sometimes it feels impossible to go to the temple, but it isn’t. I promise, get yourself there. Walk through those doors, blessings will come, the hardest part is getting there.

I want to learn to love like Christ I know the little things are the place to start. I work very hard to have weekly temple attendance and believe that because of that I can see people the way Christ sees them. I’m not always perfect at it, sometimes people frustrate me, but I know the temple helps. Now I’m not perfect and while I keep up my weekly temple attendance I plan on working towards improving my scripture study. I look forward to the blessings I will see from that and I look forward to the great blessings we will all see from the temple!

Sources:

Nelson, Russell M. "The Lord Jesus Christ Will Come Again." General Conference, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, Oct. 2024, https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2024/10/57nelson.

The Holy Bible: King James Version. Thomas Nelson, 2002.

Weeks, Hilary. Even When. Say Love, Shadow Mountain Records, 2011.

Roundabout

When I first got my license, I thought it was so fun to drive around the roundabout multiple times. Sometimes, I would see how fast I could drive in a circle. It was like a game. In fact, I remember once, when my cousin was driving, we went around it so much that the car went up onto the edge of the roundabout. That is when we knew we had to exit.

As an adult I wish I could go back to those times. The easier times when playing in a roundabout meant making sure I did not crash or seeing how fast I could drive through it. As an adult, being in the roundabout is less of a real-life adventure and more of a metaphor for my feelings of having too many decisions. I have all these options and they are all good, I could do any of them. None of them are bad, but what is good? What is better? And what is best? Or are they all equal and I get to choose?

I don’t know the answer to any of those questions, but the other day I was talking to my friend Peggy about this and she said “Isn’t it better that we are in a roundabout with choices, then at a dead end? You know what, she was right. I would rather have choices then nothing. It turns out that my struggles is not the roundabout but the patience that is needed while I am in the roundabout.

Patience is a Christ-like attribute and in some ways it has been the hardest one for me to develop. For this reason I am on a journey, a journey to discover how I can become more patient and I want to take you with me. So far I have learned what I would call step 1. Drawing closer to Christ. In the coming weeks, we are going to dive deeper into what it means to draw closer to Christ and how I do it. I want to take y’all on this journey of discovering patience with me. I have no idea where it will take us, but I trust that it will be good.

So why am I doing this?

I am honestly not 100% sure why I am doing this. I have always wanted to and for some reason I have decided that now is the time. I was blessed to be born into The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I believe it to be Christ's one true church today. With that being said, I believe that there is good to be found in all religions.

I guess that is why I started this, I want to share the good I have been taught. It has nothing to do with converting people, but with sharing simple things I know to be true. Sharing how my Savior has saved me, how He has helped and healed me. Most importantly, I hope to be be able to help each and every one of you feel the love that He and I both have for you.

I guess the point of this blog is to help you come to know the greatest love you will ever know. The love of our Savior Jesus Christ and our Father in Heaven.

Also in case you are wondering what I look like, here is the only professions head shot I have ever had taken…. I think I look pretty smart.