Nice Vs. Kind
Recently, I have been thinking about the difference between nice and kind. There is this belief on the internet that people shouldn’t be nice, but they should be kind. First, these words are synonyms, so why are we acting like they are different? Second, even if we want to act like they are different, why should we not rise to a higher standard? Why should we not be nice and treat all people with respect? Why do people believe we should just limit ourselves to kindness?
First, kind and nice are synonyms. Here are the definitions. According to Merriam-Webster, kind means “of a sympathetic or helpful nature” or “of a forbearing nature: gentle.” Nice means “polite, kind” or “virtuous, respectable” (Merriam-Webster, 2026). They are synonyms, and honestly, I don’t think the internet teaches properly what it means to be kind or nice, but I think Elder Holland did a great job. Elder Jeffrey R Holland said (2018),
“I’m going to ask that you give each other help, mortal help. In this little verse that you don’t need to remember, but you can remember that I said it:
“[I’ve] wept in the night for the shortness of sight that to [someone’s] need [I was] blind, but I never have yet [had an ounce] of regret for being a little too kind.”
Remember even in your difficulty––and they’re real––even in your difficulty, make sure you step outside yourself and bring somebody along. It’s amazing how much better two of you will make it than one, or three of you make it than two.” (Holland, 2018)
We need to stop using the word kind as an excuse to not treat all people like the children of God they are. We need to step up if you have wished that someone would reach out. Wished that your ministering brothers and sisters would reach out. You do it first! I know it can be scary. I’m trying to do it, and honestly, there are times it stresses me out; I worry about annoying people. The thing is you never know what a “Hi, my name is______ and i’m your ministering brother or sister” could do for someone. You never know what that smile or simple conversation with someone you wouldn’t normally talk to can do.
There is a skill I have been seeking to get better at since my time in the MTC, and it is looking outside of myself when I am in the middle of a challenge. It is being nice in my darkest hours. It is really easy to say “I’m going through something hard; I need someone to help me” or “I have been hurt; I’m not going to trust people and assume the worst.” The thing is, these things don’t help anyone. They keep us separated from others, and that is not what Heavenly Father wants. I know that reaching out to people can be scary, but if you let that fear or anxiety control your life, you are going to be missing out on so much. You never know what a connection with a person could bring.
Now I am not saying that we let people walk all over us. Being kind still requires boundaries. Being nice does not mean we are people pleasers or doormats. It does mean that we show others respect even when we do not agree with them. The thing is, we treat others how we want to be treated, while also having boundries.
I have had people in my life take advantage of the fact that I am nice. I have had people talk down to me about that quality, telling me why it is bad. Those people are no longer in my life. That being said, when I see them, I still respect them, and I would still have a respectful conversation with them. Being nice doesn’t mean we let people who have hurt us back in, but it also doesn’t mean we get a free pass to be mean.
We are all children of God, of a Heavenly Father who loves us more than we could ever imagine. We have all been saved by Jesus Christ. We are all worthy of that love, and we should treat each other that way. We should treat people with kindness, knowing that being nice to people is part of the healing power of Christ. By that I mean sometimes, we as Children of God are used to help people heal. That means that when you are nice to someone intentionally or unintentionally, you could be healing them; you could be a tool that Christ is using to bring His Atonement to others. I know this to be true; I have experienced it with people I have met. Not only have I done the healing, but people’s kindness has healed me.
In the end, what I want you to understand the most is that there is no nice vs kind. They are the same, and we need to treat them as such. We cannot go around using one to justify not treating people the way Jesus Christ and our Heavenly Father want us to treat each other. We are other Children of our Heavenly Father, spiritual brothers and sisters. I know that we will have worldly desires and that those can make us treat people negatively, but I also know that Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ can help us overcome those worldly desires and be better.
Love you all!
Reference
Holland, Jeffrey R. “Special Broadcast.” BYU-Pathway Worldwide, 1 Nov. 2018, www.byupathway.edu/speech/special-broadcast.
“Kind.” Merriam-Webster.com Dictionary, Merriam-Webster, https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/kind. Accessed 21 Aug. 2026.
“Nice.” Merriam-Webster.com Dictionary, Merriam-Webster, https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/nice. Accessed 21 Aug. 2026.
